Unforgiving Silence

Isn't Hari Raya supposed to be something worth celebrating?
I feel like I'm changing far more than that I could remember.
Something's different about me.
Maybe it had been that way since quite some time ago but I have just realised it recently.

Multiple Breakdowns.
Minute Get-Ups.

Do you understand the feeling of being in a constant breathless state?
Despite no matter how much air fills your lungs, your alveoli just can't seem to take in any oxygen molecules?

Secondary school holidays are starting in less than 2 weeks.
After which, I wouldn't know what I want to do. Rot at home?
Should I just humbly wound myself up to where I belong?
Or should I try doing something else?
Am I happy now?



I don't know which aspects, sides, corners, cracks, plastered, blablablas of my life could be defined as happy indefinitely. I just grappling over the idea of not giving up any hope just as yet.


You know, when a friend starts rambling how stupid it is to commit suicide, I could never agree on that statement. When a friend starts rambling telling how pathetic it is to just live for another person, I could never accept that. Whenever a friend says that both our opinions are far too different that we shouldn't be friends at all, the only thing I could feel is that they might feel abit more superior in deciding what's best for both. If you really think you're right, I'll let you have your way. Just take note that I may not be satisfied and thus, it burdens me underneath everything else.

I have no idea why that paragraph is there... Not that anyone is pushing my limits now, but then again I'd never know if this is involuntary.




Do you know the feeling of getting someone to sing you a lullaby?
Or play a tune? Tugging your heartstrings?
The pain and suffering of missing it all?






I don't know what's freaking wrong with my feelings today.











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A Malaysian friend is coming to Singapore to earn his plate of rice (and more, obviously) here. I wish him all the best, and I don't mind helping in any way possible.
=]

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Just before I forget to tell my readers, the previous entry is one of the papers that I had to mark. End of year examination informal letter writing. Honestly, you couldn't be THAT mindless to be THAT informal. Top it up with his singlish and atrocious 1 sentence paragraph. Oh dear.

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.

P/S: He got a 7/20