These past few days is like a full, non-stop drama series.

Seriously.

But at the same time, it's a progression of my sore throat, cough, giddy spells and nausea.

There are things that makes me wonder what are my priorities.
But all of it are my priorities.
So I have to divide it properly.

Things in life to me this past few days... are demandingly begged for a space in a long term memory.

It's funny how little things that needs to be done to make me feel all sorts of butterflies in my stomach.

-the way he smiled when he turned over and sees me
-the way he gets excited over the details he makes effort in doing
-the way he gets particular over how his friends are introduced to me
-the way he leans over to ask for my opinion
-the way he refuses me to help him by hitting my hand playfully
-the way he whispers to continue our conversation from a day ago
-the way he took that "wrong" time to compliment me on my dress
-the way he looks over at me and checks on me to see how i am doing
-the way he makes a point to have me unblocked
-the way he puts his hand on my shoulder in a group picture
-the way he asks me to follow him
-the way he moves nearer to my seat
-the way he leans over to talk to his friends
-the way he checks his watch to meet my curfew
-the way he gives me the wink unexpectedly
-the way he smiles at me whenever i want him to

-the way he pretends to be cross with me when I'm late for almost an hour
-the way he looks and observes me and my actions
-the way he tells his friends that he wants to go off on a different direction
-the way he asks for my opinion in taste and in being particular
-the way he looks at me when i got clumsy and tripped
-the way he told me that people were looking at me weirdly but he ignores it
-the way he touches my elbow
-the way he starts whispering to me for no apparent reason
-the way he puts his head on my shoulder while looking at me at the counter
-the way he grabs my arm to prevent me from having a collision with a stranger
-the way he pull my bag to direct me in the correct direction
-the way he gives me nonsensical remarks just to tease me
-the way he steps on my toes playfully
-the way he tries his best not to fall asleep
-the way he wonders where my energy comes from
-the way he teased me before i went back home

"You've got all the love from the one above"

I'm blessed. Alhamdullilah.
But I will always and forever need Him as I go along this road in life.



Tabahkanlah hatiku, dan tenangkanlah fikiranku.
Mempersenangkanlah perjalananku di dunia ini, dengan keberkatanMu.
Amin.

If there is a time when I can run away for a moment to prepare myself,
It is now.

This week, is really a week with crash-planning. like crashcourse, crashplanning.
... Observation. Ugh.

Oh. wow. I can't sleep.


Wow.



Edit: Ah. Screw it. Since I'm awake, might as well use my brain reserves to start blogging. Oh wait. Needs emo song to start typing. -goes off for a while- Ah. Better.

Michael had his passing - and it's a year already. If you have not realised who is Michael, it's my dearest earphones. And the ones to take over his place is a adorably cute green earphones, which I have been bringing to school and back home. The office is such a quiet place, it tends to irritate people, and adds on to their bitterness in life.

[GOD. i swear I better get a good Laptop Cooler with USB ports in it because I've been hitting my Wireless mouse USB and it keeps giving me this red blinking light - proving how painful it got hit by me]

Anyway... while we are talking about passing, there's some things that I could talk about which is relative to that.

First. My condolescences to a dear junior of mine, whom I'm sure I've heard of him before from my dear goddidihw. I've not known what's his condition and how bad it was, but I was already planning for a day to go over do donate my plasma, despite having a bad first blood donation experience on my last yr of poly life. Sadly, my thoughts and future actions are of no use, and I should have done a better job to go for it even when I'm jammed pack with a schedule.

I hope that the rest who remembers Jordan Tan, from MBIO, Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Year 2 (2009) - remembers him as someone who has made a memorable mark in everyone's lives. I may have not known you, my dear, but I'm very sure that you have made us remember you, in many good ways. I have had my good wishes and prayers for you.

It's very disheartening for me to hear of such news, and it reminds me of alot of things - whether we like it or not. And this life and death situation sinks in well for me on my 21st.

Second. Talking about passing. I'm still holding onto someone's Ipod Shuffle. Be it whether I like it or not, I have not touched it nor play its songs ever since the first time i heard it. It's almost a year now - holding onto your ipod shuffle, so i beg you, if you want it back, just get it from me. Because it's a total waste of space. And the memories I have of who you are. [and yet, funnily, after a year, i now know another person the same way i knew you] Psst. Anyone bother to give him a scare at his blog? (Maybe tell him that you'd like his ipodshuffle since he's willing to just spare it to me) and you're now a distant memory.

Third. Truthfully, I've been through alot. It may not be as much as some other's, especially not alot compared to those who have lived decades more than I do. All the experiences I have went through, or people around me have, makes me who I am today. I'm a listener, and I'll give advices. But this is what I do not wish to talk to anyone about. Saying what anyone should do.

I'm pretty headstrong. If I make a decision, I'll go all out and dismiss all the cons in that decision. And I'll make sure I stick by it. So please, don't ask me for my opinions if you are just doing some random talk when you don't wish to really heed and consider it.

To me, I've created a theory for myself in making decisions.
1. Heart over Mind
2. Mind over Heart
3. Heart and Mind compromising.

So if you don't really believe in such a theory, then beware when you ask for my opinions.

Fourth, I really hope that I don't get my brain on it's overwork-ed wheel. Because, it would not be beneficial in my position now. I'm nervous, dammit. I don't want to be in that sleepless level again. It will only disadvantage me. Ugh.

Fifth. I went to a distant relatives wedding today, and it was so good that it really made me praise nonstop. And guess what... all look at me like I should be taking note of all this - when I need it. Seriously, time is ticking for my family to anxiously wait... Ishh.


It's 0418hours and now my eyes are starting to be blurry.


Since now, Michael has its passing, I'll shall recycle this sexy name to my laptop. So it's going to be Sexy Michael now. Not just Michael. Smexy Michael. Ooh lala! And my green earphones shall be Mint or Adenade, or both. Hmm. Hmm.


My list of things to do:
Compulsory Must-Do: Lesson Plans - (Fillers/upcoming observation)
1. Bills
2. Dentist Appointment
3. Driving Licence
4. Vocal Lessons
5. Swimming
6. Escada Sunset Heat!
7. etc~

i dont know what to blog about.

but there's just so much things to do. or say.

today all i know i did a good shopping trip.

and went to a very very nice nice nice nice fantastic wedding.

and...



i've been thinking. and thinking.
gosh. time is really ticking.

Sall-E <3

Alleyah Matina;
who looks exactly like me when I was younger...
and if I ever got a kid who looks like me... it'll be exactly like her :]




Longest tunnel in Asia
With the support of my family, i feel loved.





Out at nowhere. That's where I was.

The vast clear blue sky.

I won't forget the time I baked a cake for someone.
It wasn't eaten by the person. But it was well worth the memory.




Memories.
There are specific things in life we hope for.
Certain days are seen as something worth to anticipate.




I never anticipate for such a thing.
Because I believe everyday is a day to anticipate.
But it came to me...



And I can't agree with it as much as I would want to.
Because family comes first. *breathes*