[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E: hmm
[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E: i feel the need to blog
[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E: but i dont know what i shd state in it
ケルヴィン: 'I feel the need to blog, so here I am stating it'
ケルヴィン: =x
[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E: LOL
[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E: thanks. kel
[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E: -_-
I have been having problems writing an entry, as usual.
There's so much to ponder and write about, but once I got myself on a blank screen to type it out, it's so difficult to put all the thoughts floating in my head down into words and phrases.
Two weeks of unexpected holidays has been giving me tonnes of unexpected happenings.
The first week was pretty much dense, as I wasn't feeling very well, with a massive cough and I started to have symptoms that relates back to the usual suspicion. Anyway, since I have so much things in mind, let's just summarise everything here.
Like, it's my blog, it's my rant.
Screw it if you find it dull ~XD
Friday - Went to Jurong Point and Suntec City with thebf
I was in the mood to treat him and to eat pizza. I wore something he bought for me, since I was in the 'today is a significant day' mood. He was feeling emo-ish over his class 'cos he met them and gave them cards. I really felt that in 6 months, I can see he has learnt so much in such short time. To treat him was just something for me to give as some sign of well done. He wanted to go home then, but I insisted I wanted to spend more time with him, and it's not even maghrib yet... which he gave in to my request.
I met his colleague while we were trying to get his bike nearby JP, and we saw someone we knew from TPP along the way. While on the bike to Suntec City, he showed me his secondary school, and his house, the expressway he uses each time he's coming to fetch me. Honestly, by doing so, I felt that I saw something that I've been waiting for so long, to see bits and pieces of his life, which I hardly knew of.
And also, the willingness to hold my hand first, the odd idea of playing a piano in Carrefour, teaching him what my parents taught me about buying flasks and sort, taking a picture of a she-thinks-shes-hot girl with bf, taking funny pictures with his phone, taking pictures with mine, worrying about his bike (which i felt was another of my 'fault' because I asked him to bring me to suntec), and enjoying the ride through tunnels and road - not forgetting the dress was making me slide forward.
Saturday - NE show (My first! So sad right? 21 yrs old then get to see National Day Parade)
I was super darn excited, but to my bored bf it's just another national day. I almost cried insisting that I have the get the PURPLE funpack, and I'm not a very persuasive person trading it with a student. Haha. It was very fun, I didn't really need to do much as a teacher, 'cos I was just filling in the gaps and only accompanying. Plus, I had to make friends with the army boy who was guiding us there, as he was sitting beside me. Erm. I doubt I can keep my mouth shut in such a long and exciting (for me, that is) journey. (my bf had to state that I'm gatal to talk to him -_-")
The show was good, and I was feeling patriotic, except when I saw people taking pictures while we were doing our Pledge just because the fireworks sets off then. I'd be embarrassed to see it on national tv, and i'm not suprised about people complaining soon after, either.
Sunday - Went out alone to causeway point and northpoint
A call late at night actually made me feel mellow, finding the need to take a step back to see if whatever i was feeling was something that's supposed to be bothered about. I was dating myself, feeling a lot of emotions at one time. I guess what I was doing was merely to rectifyto see a shawl that my bf gotten for me when he was at the phillipines reminded me how much i treasured my possession.
I wanted to buy the bandanas ordered by the people, since people are getting curious about my notyettolaunch business. But the ones I need was sold out, so I was going to northpoint to see if there's any. I was doing the usual ajakajakayam with adii (because we hardly meet), to which he agreed, suprisingly. Had a quick dinner with him, catching up as much as we could before i set home.
Sometimes I think I'm being childish, but at times I felt like as if I had the right to feel that way, for a reason, of course. As much as I met someone like adii, I know that my feelings are tested well against these kind of people I've known. There's honestly an obvious answer to many things in just a short time.
Monday - Last Day of school (I had to do relief, and I had a contract teacher observing me)
Tuesday - Taking my leftovers from School
Wednesday - @ Home doing Registration
Thursday - @ Home cleaning the room
Friday - Went to Bishan to buy pillow, Takashimaya to buy toys with Azimah; Then I went to The Singapore Flyer and Marina Barrage with my family.
Saturday - @ Home trying to recover as much as I could
Sunday - Breakfast @ Al-Azhar opp. Beauty World; Went to the Botanical Gardens with the whole family; Rotted at Along's house until evening.
Monday - Dad went for his NUH checkup; Went movie-watching and talk with the bf; Adii sent me home
Tuesday - Went swimming with Aisyah, chat with Nic and Kel
Wednesday - @ Home watching Clannad After Story
Colorquiz result
Your Existing Situation
"Very social and needs a highly social environment with people who depend on him, in order to feel safe. she is a go-getter and can adapt to almost any situation. "
Your Stress Sources
"Not a team player and is unwilling to be involved in most activities. In the past she was over involved and now emotionally drained. Due to her fear of over involvement, she now chooses to remain uninvolved with the activities around her. "
Your Restrained Characteristics
"Current situation makes her feel unable to prove himself, but tries to make the best of things."
Is bothered when her needs and desires are misunderstood and she feels there is no one to turn to or rely on. her self-centered attitude can cause her to be easily offended.
"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."
Current situation is leaving her doubtful and cautions about becoming intimately involved with others.
Your Desired Objective
"Searching for a life free of problems, stress, and drama. Wishes to find security and peace, so that she may relax."
Your Actual Problem
Fear of being prevented from achieving the things she wants increases the need for security and freedom of conflict. Looking for stability and a relaxing environment.
Thursday - Went out with Hidayah, Saira and Azimah, talked to Mervyn late at night
Friday - @ Home finishing Clannad After Story; talked to Azimah, cancelled meeting with Saira, babysitted Na'imah, checked timetable with tonnes of people, and had a good chat with someone from TPP whom me and thebf saw at Jurong Point 3 Fridays back.
Colorquiz result:
Your Existing Situation
"Very social and needs a highly social environment with people who depend on him, in order to feel safe. she is a go-getter and can adapt to almost any situation. "
Your Stress Sources
Feeling empty and isolated from others and trying to bridge the gap between herself and others. Wants to live life to the fullest and experience as much as possible. she cannot stand any restrictions or obstacles put in her way and only longs to be free.
Your Restrained Characteristics
"Although she is able to find contentment through sexual activity, she feels hopeless to change her problems and difficulties and continues to make the best of what she has."
"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."
"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."
Current events have her feeling forced to make bargains and put aside her own desires for now. she is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.
Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.
Your Desired Objective
Lives life to the fullest. Has a high energy level and is always on the go. she is very active and her actions often lead to success.
Your Actual Problem
"Fights resistance or limitations, and insists she is free to develop in her own way. Rewarded by accomplishing things on her own, with little to no help from others."
Your Actual Problem #2
Is afraid she will be held back from obtaining the things she wants leading her to act out with a hectic intensity.
(suddenly i felt my heart floating on crashing waves, for a bit)
-------*
On a side note, Nic shared with me a vid of Enter Shikari.
Enjoy :]
