Wednesday - 14 March 2007

1st day

I left home at about 9:15 am plus heading to jb. I have this heavy feeling that life is just not giving me any easy way at all. I would love to kill myself then. From things are going i feel like i dont deserve anything rather. sigh.


I feel so utterly sad that when I came to Malacca, the first thing I was hoping for isn't as near as how it was 4 years ago. THE SEA. They're reclaiming in front of my auntie's condo.

Ugh. I want the sea breeze!
T__T.

everything just kills my feelings. everything. this is just the first day and i feel so yucky. -_-"

The difference between a colon and a semi-colon...

Colon (:)
1. A punctuation mark ( : ) used after a word introducing a quotation, an explanation, an example, or a series and often after the salutation of a business letter.
2. The sign ( : ) used between numbers or groups of numbers in expressions of time (2:30 A.M.) and ratios (1:2).

Semi-colon (;)
1. the punctuation mark (;) used especially to separate parts of a sentence which have more independence than clauses separated by a comma.

I have been reading alot, and I have been noticing things I haven't been noticing a long time. I wondered... What are the reasons for misunderstandings?

Is it because...

we don't understand each other's languages?

of the tone we use while we are communicating?

of the wrong words used in the reply?

we don't expect such an answer?

all of the above?

There's a difference between using a colon and a semi-colon. I'm not trying to teach you English, but more of trying to show you that anyone could argue over the slightest notation when both know what it was supposed to mean or should mean. The uncertainty always exist whenever you don't fully understand the person's motives.

Our choices and habits help us in becoming who we are. We may not realise how we are being placed into an environment, and how we live in an invisible cage. We doubt what is outside of the cage, so much so that we make ourselves think that we shouldn't even bother to get out of there, to experience and cherish everything that exists in this world.

We then start to know people who are similar to us. But let me ask you, who has really tried getting out of that cage? Can you imagine being on the outside of the cage, where everything is familiar of everything except you? How are you going to react to the new situation, new environment and the people? Some of us were forced to experience that and we all understand the stigma of being in that position.

But being different doesn't necessarily have to be bad; It's just how you act towards what you are given to, and how you want to go on about the whole event.

The difference between a colon and a semi-colon. The next question will be:
How do you survive a misunderstanding?

Cleaning up my blog felt like a chore...

Things that have already happened this year.
010107 - Happy New Year
020107 - PH (Hari Raya Haji)
150107 - Daddy's Birthday
240107 - Final Year Report Submission
300107 - Poster Summit Presentation
010207 - cGMP Test (10%)
050207 - cGMP Exam
070207 - =)
070207 - DDD Exam
090207 - IL1 Practical Exam
120207 - Genomics Exam
120207 - FYP PowerPoint Hand-up
210207 - External Examiner Presentation

Finally, I'm feeling pretty stoned now...

Yes! New blogskin finally...
I wanted to use a Black and White, like how almost all my blogskin I made is, but something hit my head, probably someone's words and I thought, "Why not?".

There you go~
That pic. My sony ericsson made it possible.
Credits to the photographer. Heh.

I already wanted to use the black and white pic.


I have yet to edit alot of it... I'll do that abit later, I guess...

& I haven't slept for 2 days... funny, I don't even realise it. =/

I doubt it but I will believe it...

I have an interesting blog to read; and I can't help but posting an entry about it.

I was browsing around wondering if there is any site that will give meanings to lyrics. And I stumbled to a forum that discusses the lyrics, to Dimantle.Repair. from Anberlin. And while I was reading to many ways of people who have heard this song explaining... Someone on the forum left a link. It looks like a link to a blog.

Out of curiosity, I searched for the blog.

...

Another sleepless Night. =/

Ever since I have been having alot of troubles surfacing on me. These troubles are making my insomnia from bad to worse. Well, anyway, heck about that...

So, while I was having troubles and my lappie accompanying me through the night, I logged in to the ever-so-troublesome Blogger and noticed something... Lookie~



OMG... Thank YOU for noticing Mr. Whoever-Owns-Blogger Blogster. (Okay, I sound so ignorant about blogger and who own this site and all, but hey! I'm noticing it now~! =X) I have Major problems Making my Lappie understand the dodo cookie that I'm logged IN all the time! Grr... Meaning Blogger don't even remember I never logged out T_T. Prolly it's good for me 'cos blogger logs me out of my own dashboard when I close the window, but hell, it's freaking irritating you know? Ughhh. Oh well, I volunteered out to help with that problem anyway. Hope my itsy-bitsy-effort-late-at-night will eventually help with my Blogger problems...


Well anyway, I'm trying to get things abit more straight and lay'ed' out with my parents. It's been really a rough week for me;

1st - Coming back from M'sia =(
2nd - Having the From-Young-I've-Tried-My-Best-To-Avoid-It talks with my parents...
3rd - err, personal issues. I really have to add the 's' there. Or else the list won't end... If you're wondering what, it goes from the range of financial, friendships, family and health issues. So, don't ask. Told you as much as I can offer. Hah.

It's true what Daddy said. But sometimes, it sounds awfully wrong. Anyway, I'm thinking alot and I really need a breather. So, thankfully, my parents are letting me off after the weekend, thus, I'm free to go out and at least freshen up and think abit more better (outside of the house, of course...)

2007 is really a decision-making year for me. Damn.

Oh well, I did quite a few worthless things during the weekend such as...
1. Created an account at Last.fm (I'm enjoying it! Haha.)
2. Updated my friendster (after a few freaking months not even touching it... Heh.)
3. Helped Bro Kel with his blogskin. Now damn Nice. It's soooo me. Haha.
4. Downloaded more songs... Loving Saosin as usual and beginning to appreciate Mae.
5. Edited lyrics in LyricWiki; Read Wikipedia. *I need to learn something or else I'd be stoned.*
6. Wondered what happened to MySpace account... *scratch head*
7. Dreaming (I did this like almost every second) that I own a money-making machine so I can... buy Saosin's T-shirt and modify it; modify my room; take up my self-appreciating lessons; buy my cheapskate guitar; pay all the bills so there is no worry to pay for it; save the rest into my savings account so I can prepare to do further studies; use notes to wipe my sweat (like in Dumb & Dumber)... etc, etc.

I saw this interesting article that made me guilty conscious (It's about addictive drugs that should be banned) and also, I have this ironic theory. About the similarities of homosapiens and the animal kingdom. Haha. I better go find that article and make time for the stupid theory.

Shizzor... I keep forgetting to make the holiday entry. Crap. Ugh. I better do it ASAP; before I forget the fine details.

Oh. I also forgot to add this in the list...
8. Watched Heroes =]



... Damn. 16 beats godly. Ugh.

Look at this weird Picture...

I'm Talking to MYSELF. hahahaha...
Nolah, zj got some program that 'steals' the nick and dp of anyone in an instant. So i was bored and asked him to be me for a minute or two. Lolx =P

I'm doing Kel's blogskin now so... if im still not sleepy later, (drinking coffee as usual) I'll update the bloggie as much as I can aight? =)

*poofie~* *sal off to make herself look busy*

Two days of going out! (but feeling numb)

Came back to only see many people nudging me and asking me about my trip and how I'm feeling and all... I know people miss me right right right? Haha. Yeah right, enough with me being thick-skinned.


Wednesday

hw didi needed help with his matriculation forms so he asked me out. I was feeling down and 'home'sick; wishing I'm still in M'sia... so I agreed with the thought that it will help if I chill out and get my feet back to real ground by meeting people I'm comfortable with...

So I met hw didi at Plaza Singapura Starbucks (haha. I'm LATE) and went to eat brunch at McD. As per usual, we are typical gossipmongers. Haha.

After that, I played Time Crisis with him. I keep using the card until there isn't anymore credit inside! *shows how noob i am at the game hahaha* hw didi got so stressed cos he can't complete the game. =X Sorry!

After that, we went to continue our gossip(s) at Starbucks Suntec City. My own favourite hangout is getting famous ever since I love to rot there... And we played Xbox 360 to pass the time. Met mervyn after his attachment there as well. Called Bobby to come find us. (heheh)

Walked to the Koi Garden to wait for Bobby to call, and chatted there... and I took a pic out of boredom~


Haha, I dunno why merv is giving that look anyway, but heck. He has a new hairstyle! Looks real good =] But we keep calling him noobest of the noob. Lolx. You know I know ey? *winks*

Bobby joined us at Burger King after that. Treat us bah. I was still full with McD though.
Went home with Merv thinking about school, work, and personal stuffs...
*shrugs* The feeling of being numb is really, bothering me...

-------*
Thursday

Went out and supposed to meet hw didi at 2pm but as usual I'm late. =X
Guide him through school and checked out the laptop roadshows...
And DAMN, I WANT the ACER notebook they are offering at SGD$2.15k
($200 odd for 1GB RAM; total 2GB RAM)
(Intel Core Duo, 2Ghz; 120GB SATA HDD)
(Nvidia GeForce 7600 with dedicated 256MB graphics!)
(Personalized Laptop - Good for heavy users; especially those with sweaty palms. haha)
and of course...
Windows Vista Business!

I WANT TO BE A YEAR ONE STUDENT AGAIN T_T

See Me Cry~ *coughs*

But it wasn't totally because of the Acer Notebook...

It's because...

I can't go back to this place no more! Imma miss Biopolis! *wails~*
I returned everything that they 'gave' me and I no longer have my pass T_T Sobs* I hope I would still be interested in it by August~

Met mervyn on the train to Vivocity, and I quickly cheered up by...
...
... (god, I really can't believe I'm posting this one...)
...

Hw didi and merv made me do this! Lol. We went to Toys'R'Us! Haha~*
But anyway, I like the big teddy I hugged...
I really wished it was a warm feeling instead though~ and I'm still feeling numb...

I totally forgot that Adii was at vivo until pretty late, apparently he was nearby, cos he saw 2 girls sitting down (and i recall seeing them) and 2 people playing at the wading pool (which i figured is hw didi and mervyn) How unlucky of us to not meet ~ =(

I played the wading pool soon after... and my jeans got really wet.. Haha.

Met Bobby for dinner and I forgot my stuff I left with hw didi. Mervyn was stressed and stoned in the bus back home lol. Chill boy, Chill! And apparently he slept in the bus and keep leaning while i was half-awake. Haha. Told you to change seats you duwan. -_-"

I'll settle the entries for the trip later today, I'll try ok?

I'll end the entry by showing you something I saw in Toys'R'Us earlier. Hehe...
...
PRESENTING~
....


Spongebob~!
All geared up to shop! Hahaha.

=]

Back from the holidays...

I usually feel that I homesick whenever i go for a holiday. This time round, it's exactly the opposite.

I wanna go back to where I was. I cried enough to fill the pool for at my auntie's condo and thank god I didn't cry and soaked shirts of those people I met. Because if I did, I'd prolly be throwing enough bitch-fits to be send back to meet a shrink.

TO those I met: Thank you for sparing your time and patience and smiles and nonsense for me.
TO those I didn't meet: Thank you for at least making an effort to try and meet me.
TO those who didn't even bother: Heck, if you didn't bother you wouldn't be reading my blog...


Sunset view from Lagenda Condo, Malacca

I'll blog more about my experience there in Malacca and KL. We spent about 4 days out of 7 days just to travel around. So whatever it felt, it felt more than rushed. It felt like a bullet train; with time spent on the wrong things.

And yeah, I cried not because I missed the place and country. I missed the people I met. The one that made my day yesterday was really unexpected. And the one that made me felt like my blood suddenly got sucked out from me and leave me quite tattered was more unpredictable. The ones that made me feel at home was the most priceless feelings ever.

Note: I'm using my old number now. But I'm getting ready to change to my new number. Be prepared everyone.

I'll blog about everything else later. For now, I wanna get a decent rest because I'm going to help hw didi with his paperwork as well as catching up with him, hoping that I feel more better back in Singapore and not losing more screws that can confirm my sanity.

Leaving for Malaysia in less than 5 hours!

Hahahahahahaha.
Please excite me by meeting me!

Okay, that sounds weird. But whatever it is... I'll just drop a msg to whoever is in the state that I've arrived. Provided that daddy don't yell at me and we didn't get lost. Very very scared, you know.

I'd prolly bring my lappie for company-purposes. But propably there ain't any chances of me being online, so the closest thing to being there is by the phone.

I activated my roaming service for my old no. But I haven't done it for my new no. In any case, whoever has my old no. need not worry. And whoever has messaged me or called me from the effect of January 10, 2007, will have their no. in my phone, regardless whether I'm using the old no. or new.

And with the effect of January 21st, i.e Next Wednesday, 80% chance is that I would be using a new no. Therefore, please nudge me for the new no. if you haven't gotten it, and I'll be passing around the message of the new no. Save both no. for the time being despite if it's after 21st Jan. Until I confirmed the whole transfer. Seriously, I just hate changing no. Reason being, I always pick an easy no. for people to remember. Previously my no. was so sweet that my birthdate was in it. I loved it to bits that I argued (like the current no. too) with my mom in order to keep the no. Whatever the reason may be, I would send messages to whoever I have no.s in my phone.
Those who doesn't have been warned.

And Yes, I lost quite a ton of people's no. because my previous phone commited suicide. I have to apologise on the behalf of my phone (and maybe my stubborn-ess of not buying a new phone earlier)

I better catch a few winks before I head to Melaka & Kuala Lumpur! Wee~*
Will miss everyone (and the internet too =x)! That's for sure!
*hugs*

=]

Ah, the ular sawa~

Konbawa~! Eh, it's not even evening yet.

Well, anyway, I'm still preparing for my malaysia trip and trying to get the KL maps online, making sure at the very least I know bits and pieces and have a decent knowledge on how to move around using public transport and not taxi cabs (i fear overseas cabs) and other expensive modes of transport.

I tried to contact quite a few of friends there, but hmm, the quite a few apparently don't look like they can be contacted. So, I guess, if I disappoint myself, I should might as well not disappoint my parents. Thank god, both hotels I was eyeing for in KL is near to LRT stations, so I can get around easier. Hmm, there's another hotel that's really worth the $ but then, it's way further than that of the places that I have intended to go around.

It sucks when you plan things in your way for once and it end up screwed somewhere along the line, no matter how much you did to make sure things go on smoothly.

So to cheer myself (and any cat lovers out there) up, here's Havana sleeping like a fried prawn for you =P

So tiiiiirrrreeeeeeedddddddd.

LSCT Dinner and Dance 2007.

Feels like as if its meant for just a small group. Not even 18 tables are filled.
I feel cheated out of the money we gave.
Even the food... though the appetiser for my muslim set (yeah. i paid that much to just get served specially -_-") is yummy. The squid is delicious I wished that I could ask for more. Ugh

Look at the pictures instead... I chose a few out of many.

-------*
First of all...

Making up my ugh-stupid-breakout face.
[Edited to save you from fainting] =X
Before... (even with specs! Rarity from 0.0000001% chance to a full 300% chance of finally seeing me in specs...)


After... Do I look older? My sis told me I look older after doing my make up. Like how I do my face? Need amateur make up for a dinner? Call me. We can discuss the price later =P (Provide ur own makeup please) I think with me doing my own face, I feel that I saved quite a ton on paying anyone for doing it. =x

Next... The few pics I picked out of the lot. I want more pics from my friends. =x

The girls (2 more didn't attend) that have been there with me throughout the 3 years in school.


The few guys that I find easy to crap with...
(erm... I didn't bend down at all, mind you.) *coughs*

These are the other guys that I kind of don't have in my group pics... I noticed that they don't really like to take group pics either. So... haha. handy-dandy handphone! These specific 3 people like to disturb me alot, especially the middle guy(who loves to hit my head) and he needed to bend down a hell lot to get to my height haha =P

And suprise, suprise...

This is the guy who I apparently knew since... primary one. Different secondary school, but I met him back when I came into poly. Haha. Its like 5 mins more to his birthday when I took the picture with him. He said.. "Okay, this is the last picture of me being 19 year old." Lol. Somehow, this picture looks great. after 13 years of knowing each other. haha.

Not many people came, even my own project partner isn't there. *coughs* Oh well...
Somehow most walked out unsatisfied, but to cover that up, there's alot of pics taken. I got alot but its somehow repetitive, so I dont intend to bore you any further.

Last but not least...

The Levi's voucher I won from the Lucky Draw. Haha.

peace. out.

A decent post at last

I just woke up, apparently I was staring at my lappie screen and stoning and end up napping, waking up whenever I sense any movement or reaction. I accidentally shouted when Mom tried to switch off the light. And my heart skipped too many beats when my phone suddenly rang on the study table. How... Loud... the caller got a shock cos my voice sounded very 'alert'. That kind of voice that sounded like I had such adrenalin rush and sounded angry, lol. Because of that, suddenly I got reminded by that I should make an entry for today... ^^

Okay... How should we do today's entry... Hmm... Point form should be nice ya? Haha, cos I'm still pretty stoned.

- didn't sleep properly cos I thought that I would oversleep
- apparently I got moody and I got sleepy
- slept for a few hours
- got ready; went out at 10am
- 1hr nap in train
- met hw didi at 11am
- walked to burlington square; trying to find excuses to quit the job
- reached the company's place
- sat down and stared back at the part-timer who saw us before
- apparently we didnt know that the company opens by 12pm
- met bobby's friend, settled the payments
- she said she will call when she has anything for us; got out of the job without a need to give reasons! Haha
- Walked around aimlessly; got lost and keep walking to marina square
- on the way, we passed by the library
- the library just opened and we are clueless on where the books are
- apparently we're lost in the drama centre; playing with the escalators. i figured how the escalators worked hahahaha. Auto sensor when you stepped on the escalator, the escalator would move. quite cool. played the escalator until around the 7th floor and was thirsty
- hw didi played with the water-cooler machine when i was drinking.... -__-"
- then we took the lift down... we walked into the lift with another 2 people, a malay lady and a chinese guy. smiled and hw didi noticed something
- he said, dont that look like... us if we grow old, with you saying those kinds of words like the lady did. (damn evil la, i think she was trying to convince the chinese guy to relax and just enjoy the break or something; and my godbro said something like, Sounds DeJaVu. -__-" i love to influence hw to skip classes by trying to convince him nonsense la you see... if you get the link between). these two people really look like they know each other well, and their conversation just sounds like me n my godbrother. lmao. hw didi, ure gonna be bald. hahahaha. *coughs*
- went to marina square to eat the same thing we both ate on friday. (the popiah DAMN NICE). go try! *recommended*
- went around to suntec city and got stuck in starbucks ~XD
- bitching around like nobody's business, hahaha. =X
- played the Xbox 360 and I know how to play ok? =P
- oh didi, please try convince me to make a fool of myself playing time crisis with u the next time ok? hahahahaha.
- err... wad else... rotted walked walked to mrt station.
- saw this two elderly man on the escalator down to the train, the mad behind the other hugged him from the back and kissed him. o.O i was trying to ask the ever so blur didi and i end up saying fatherly love -_-"
- as usual slept in the train home...
- i think i look like one stoned girl in the bus cos i was trying real hard to balance and ended up looking quite stiff =x
- came back, bathed, eat
- staring at my lappie, trying to figure out wad to do, wanted to maple but i keep lagging and hanging, havent had the energy to reformat my comp
- napped and snapped at any movement
- now typing this entry... feeling quite awake. -______-!

i know im missing something. but hell i dont know what.
And good luck bro, tomorrows posting results. hope You really get the first choice. =]

Anberlin - Dismantle. Repair.

One last glance from a taxi cab
Images scar my mind
Four weeks felt like years
Since your full attention was all mine
The night was young and so were we
Talked about life, God, death, and your family
Didnt want any promises
Just my undivided honesty

And you said,
Oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh, things are gonna change oh theyre gonna change

I am the patron saint of lost causes
My fraction of who I once believed (Change)
Only a matter of time
Opinions I will try and rewrite
In my pen, background music,
Playing your song,
Ive got to be honest, I tried to escape you
But the orchestra plays on,

And they said,
Oh, oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh, oh, things are gonna change

Its like secrets are the hardest things to keep from you
Lies and phrases like knives your words can put me through
Dismantle me down, (Repair) you dismantle me, you dismantle me...

Give me time to prove
To prove I want the rest of yours (Prelude)
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you
Its not that I hang on every word
I hang myself on what you mean
Its not that I keep hanging on
Im never letting go

Save me from myself (x2)
Help me
Save me from myself (x2)

Oh, oh, things are gonna change now for the better
Oh, oh, things are gonna change

-------*
Somehow, I'm attracted and am liking to this song. If anyone wants the song, inform me... =)

A few hours before my external presentation...

And the current latest addition to the family~ my baby nephew ^^v

...I would love to add another picture here. =]

But, I'm not sure whether it is such a good idea.

Nevertheless, I'm quite nervous. In a few hours time, I'm going to start a day at work.

Too fast for me, and I'm not sure I'm ready + mentally prepared for anything.

... Pray that everything's okay for me.