I have so many things I could blog about - but I kept procrastinating. Pretty much I'm falling sick and all... and unexpected events happen at times too.

Unwanted people SMSed me - wanted people just gets on with their lives.

I'm getting very tired, emotionally and physically. Even the old times of living in fear of death catches up with me. I better get my brains working to find songs, get a new bloody mouse, photoshop the rest of my blog, pictures.

and do a little secret or two xD

03/12/2009

Silver Aluminium wire with Swarovski and seashell-ed bead.

I like :]]

 

Personal Pendant (first try)

Brown wire - with copper coloured iron wire wrapped around silver alumimium wire and 5 swarovski crystals.

Purple wire with white beads >.< I wired it up too tightly now I can only wear it on my pinky. Nontheless - others can wear it since my fingers are pretty stubby.

Was trying out the chainmail method - it was tedious! and tiring to keep checking which chains to link. ><


Comments please. :]]

02/12/2009

I need coffee. Dammit.

how am i supposed to photoshop without a mouse?

ugh.

Thank you:
Firdaus
Chun-kun
Kit-ty
Adrian
Kumo Cw
Valli
Shabeena
Shaheen
Kel
Nigel
Nazlin
Azimah
Julaiha
Jannah
Eva
Yazid & Kak Nora
Adrian Adik
Bro Hongwei
Sis Abbie
and obviously - My Lovely Family
and those who I missed out.

Thank you for the wishes, hopes, and dreams. And everything else.
:]]

Happy 21st Birthday, Shabeena :]

When you know that life's like that.

I think there's so much to think about, and loads more to let go. Sorry love, by the time I'm at Pasir Ris, you're enjoying the cake and beaming in front of cameras. Glad to hear you're enjoying your birthday :] Too bad you can't get to meet me in real life during your big day - but this will do right?

Shaheen and I were paparazzied by a lady who wanted to take pictures of Shaheen us. Lol. The pics at Shaheen though. <3

Azimah - Thank you for the lift. I hope you'd be okay and safe and well... and I'm scared. ._." Pray that it's nothing to fear about ._____.

Ahmad - :] :] :] :] :] :] :]  Excuses exists because we made them. Tonight was one that I cannot get angry for. So ~ Just get your tamagotchi and play with me ok? ;]

My tamagotchi grew up as a Chamametchi. Cute right? ^^v

Nonetheless, I'm short of money to buy for her food. Stressed about it since I want her to grow up Pretty to which all guys will fall for her - since she's going to be a ROCKSTAR!

Grrs.

Why do I feel like I'm on the verge of tears every single time? And it's not because I'm sad or anything... Even when I'm happy I can cry in tears of joy. @_@ My eye ducts seems to go work overtime these days.

Let's hit the town, boys. I'm partying overtime.

Can't stop listening to this song.

am making a new blogskin :]


Edit: Blogskin up with tons of errors and adjustments needed. Do tell me if there's anything I might have missed out ok? Love you muacks.

meeting mj later :]

#3

Oh what the hell.
The previous post was significant like hell.

But then again...
I could only remember it after browsing through my old posts. HAHAHAHA.



Look and see who's telling the truth, yo.

I don't know, but the feelings of lost and freedom can coincide at the same time. It makes me feel like I'm totally dragging myself down.

Why do I insist I don't want to do something though I want it, but I'm already forced into a position that I couldn't, and when I know that I can do it at the end of the day, I still insist I shouldnt?

I don't get it. I miss so many things at one time.
I had a dream which was sweet, but I guess I'm feeling super lost, cos I cant achieve that dream in reality, not anytime soon.

My responsibilities are always getting the better way out of me. Even when I want to run away, the cost of doing so will exponentially be multiplied. As if that there is no proper way to run away. Even when I face it, I feel inadequate. What can I do about it? I don't know. Time and time again, I keep trying to make things work, but why does it feel like there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm confused, I'm feeling the massive amount of insecurity.

Maybe life needs to be written down on paper... I don't know. I'm so confused, really.

#440

How to save a life.

And I'm supposed to be doing my presentation slides...

But my wants gets the better hold out of me... and I did this...

Kinky lights from my laptop cooler. Lmao. so beng.

Nice? :]

Naughty sal... better get her cup of coffee and do workie work! ;]

Wire Art is fun! (Part Two)

Wire Art is fun! (Part One)

Just for Kitty and Chunkun. A sad Attempt of a vase... if u can notice at the background, there's flowers. that is also made out of wires... we just pasted tissue paper / paper mache / those light kinds of paper. My partner is good at it. Haha. Delicate stuff.

 Not my HAND. thats for sure... Just showing off the sudden craze to do rings and jewellery by my friends... after we did our presentation... As u can see... They made tonnes of designs (repetitively) and even just do some nonsense wiring, but it turned out nice. Haha.

     Wire Tree... It took me about 3 hours to get it proper, and with the expense of hurting my fingers, twisting and turning all the wires together... A friend who tried to do it, got hurt in the process, pricked her finger :(

 my friend did a bookmark out of the wire and bead. Smart! I think she saw our card holder (i didnt take a picture of it - part 2 ok?) and tried doing that. Pretty kan?

 Butterfly for holding pieces of paper together - scrapbook?

My niece's birthday present from me... Its a 97 pages of colouring pictures... that I took from digital photos and photoshop-ed them to be colouring pages. She wanted a colouring book, so I wondered what could be the best thing to give her, which would be more memorable... So now she can colour herself with purple hair or something... hahaha

My coffee's bitter and I'm not complaining about it.

I wanted to talk about (500) Days of Summer, but right now, I keep feeling that I have no freaking time to do things, even my downright simple assignments.
I'm not sure if anxiety is catching up on me, or is it the pain and suffering that I'm supposed to go through weeks ago, finally kicking me in the ass right now.

I'm just threading along painful moments for now.


My niece is admitted to the hospital due to her lungs, she had trouble breathing, and I couldn't stop thinking about her, when I visited her earlier today. She was gasping for air, and she looks so uncomfortable that I understand the reasons why she gets cranky if someone disturbs her.

Honestly, I cannot feel anything anymore. It gets to me, so numb that I keep losing the track of time.

I really feel like time is running past by, and I'm on low fuel, at the wrong time.

Just for Sis Abbie ♥

The images are just plain horrible, but it's just like what you've wished for.

Bad pose

Good pose

Patty

Krabby

Krabby & Patty are patriot crabs whose species are usually found in South Africa. They live in freshwater, though their cousins can also live in saltwater. Their sizes are only up to 6cm (body only) with a dominant pincer on either side.

As you can see Krabby has a Left dominant, and Patty, right. They were frightened with me at first, and still are, though by now, they know when is feeding time. I tend to side Krabby as it was quiet and tends to eat the least, but nowadays, I felt like Krabby's dominating Patty with its lavish pinch.

Krabby's more vibrant in colour than Patty, but nontheless, Patty's an active fellow. I will be getting a 10-gallon tank with gravel and some mini flowerpots for each hideout. I wonder if a cheap water filter is possible for me to get - these crabs tend to pollute the water pretty often. I want to get a log too if I can, something they can climb on or have fun with.

And sand is definitely necessary when they are moulding. Yes, mould out of their skin, like prawns and mealworms. Am going to feed them cuttlefish soon for their calcium intake.

I have to thank my brother for giving me the most wicked idea of having another set of pets to preoccupy myself. I guess its really something to get me by through all the things that I'm going through. These crabs could live up to 6 years. So, here I am... ready for a long term love-hate relationship with Krabby & Patty.

Have been updating nonsense in Plurk.com

Plurk.com

Selamat Hari Raya :]

The bracelet on my hand says ching ching ching.

Thursday - 
EdPsych1 PBL
Maths
Syntax (wksht!)
*Do ICT by tonight please*


Friday - 
Art
*Do Edpysch2 Deconstruction by tonight please*


Saturday -
Hari Raya Preparations (I'm so going to faint by then)


Sunday - 
Hari Raya!


Monday - 
Study for Maths test!
Print ICT hardcopy


Tuesday - 
Hand in ICT 
English Lecture
Maths Test
*Print out deconstruction by tonight, please*


Wednesday - 
text types tutorial
pedagogical english
meeting with sunbeam - for GESL


thursday - 
edpsych 1 pbl
maths tutorial
study of language
edpysch 2 makeup lesson - deconstruction

Shikata Akiko - VII

usuyami ni hikaru yokoshima na ake no hoshi 

kurokami no otome warau fuson ni 

Like a wicked star that shines in darkness

A girl with black hair laughs arrogantly

nejireta omoi daite 

nai mono nedari no koe 

namida wa sasou "kochira ni oide..." 

Embracing tormented thoughts

Demanding what she doesn't own

Her tears are tempting, "Come here..."

Chi sei?

Who are you?

ikari no maguma wa tomedo mo naku afure 

basei wa kodoku na mune no oku o kakusu

Her flame of hatred knows no end

Her insulting words are sealed inside that lonely heart

saa mou oyasumi nanimo shinakute ii kara 

sou taida no nemuri no soko 

fukaku fukaku shizumeteageru kara 

Dormi in una bara fino alla morte!

Come, it's time to rest, you don't have to do anything

So, I shall make you drown

Deeply, deeply, into the bottom of an indolent sleep

Sleep well in that coffin till the end of your life!

hoshii mono wa nani? 

kin no kagi gin no tsuki 

te ni ireru dake shudan wa erabanai 

Who am I?

What is it that she desires?

Golden key? Silver moon?

To obtain it, she abuses all means

samenai uchi ni saa 

itadakimashou sugu ni 

omae wa watashi watashi no ichibu to naru 

Come on, while you are still warm

I shall devour you, immediately

You shall become mine, you shall become a part of mine

matteru subete o kanesonaeta ouji 

tsubasa wa taorare mousou no torikago 

I've been waiting, my perfect prince

To rip off both your wings, and trap you in a cage of delusions

saa osorenasai onore no kokoro no yami 

sou doko e mo nigerarenai 

kowai kowai owari no naki yuugi yo 

Come, fear the darkness in your heart

So, you cannot run away

Scary, scary, this game shall never end

odorimashou kon'ya wa hitori 

ongaku wa yugamu kagami no heya de 

odore nageki no nejimaite 

Let us dance, tonight, alone

In distorted voice, in this room filled with mirrors

Dance, let me hear your creaking voice twisted in anguish

Brindiamo alla tua risolutezza 

Agitati, agitati! 

Ormai il dado è tratto

You shall be burnt to ashes with your own decision

Agitatedly, agitatedly!

Now, the die is cast

rengoku no nanashimai 

O Seven Sisters of Purgatory

majo wa tou ama kake sono tsumi o nerau 

saa tsugi wa dono hoshi o iotosu?

The Witch has ordered us to soar, aiming at The Sin

So, which star shall be the next to fall?

kokoro no shin'en nozokeba yami ni somaru 

genjitsu uketomeru kakugo wa aru to iu no ka? 

If we look into the abyss of your heart dyed in darkness

Have you the resolution to accept reality?

saa asobimashou hohoende inochi kakete 

sou doko e mo nigerarenai 

kowai kowai owari no naki yuugi yo 

Come, let us play, with a smile, risking our own lives

So, you cannot run away

Scary, scary, this game shall never end

hisoka ni sagesumu sono me ni etsu oboe 

saa eien? tsukanoma? yume utsutsu samayoe 

Secretly in those scorning eyes are the feeling of rejoice

So, eternally? Momentally? Wander, between dream and reality

Continuiamo quindi il gioco 

Mostrami di più il tuo viso spaventato dal tormento 

Agitati, agitati! 

Mostrami di più il tuo viso deformato dal dolore 

Let us continue the game

Show me more of your face frightened by torments

Agitatedly, agitatedly!

Show me more of your face distorted by pain

Ormai il dado è tratto

Now, the die is cast

So cut up your identities invented for the frequencies of need.

Friday was the most confusing day.

Me infront of 8Q's main art exhibition. 

Looking up happily though there's tanks of algae at the background. 

Haha.

The date with my darlings.

Non-stop laughter and nonsense.

The inevitable question from them for me.

And the funniest fact that I'm the slowest eater and I can't finish my plate of rice.

Bugis is so fun!

And the hat hat hat craze 

that I'm so so so into 

other than lace lace lace!

It's fun knowing someone who you can just share the same interest with, without judgemental remarks.
Although it might be suprising, it's purely entertaining and fun :]

Ha ha ha.
yes yes.
If only that person knows :]



Baaahs!

Those who run will never win the race.

I have been doing assignments. Assignments, homework, assignments.

In the middle of it - the distant gaze, the occasional anime, the occasional singing and humming to the music.

Otherwise. assignments, homework, assignments.

-------*

On Tuesday, I was out at Jurong Point loitering and surveying for netbooks and I had to drop into HARRIS, the bookstore. I almost went crazy looking at Nicholas Sparks books. Trust me, I think I'm going to buy all his books soon enough. Haha.

And i kept doing the occasional distant gaze. which azimah was wondering if it was her fault with regards to what happened that day. She wanted to be sure with it - she asked me again today - and i told her what i was thinking.

-------*

Today, I break fast with Azimah at LJS - JP.

It was horrifying to hear about a very sad news earlier. A classmate of mine (and azimah's, apparently), who is also my TPP friend, got into an accident, which affected his collarbone and his thumb. I guess that's very severe. I was like... super horrified, and worried for him. He is undergoing surgery while my friends spreads the news to us.

Thoughts run through my mind:

Is he going to be okay?

Is he able to come back to school soon?

Is he going to have difficulties after recovery?

Is he ...

It's the holy month - Ramadhan. I pray that Ashiq's going to be alright, Insya'Allah. 

Only He can decide what is best for all of us.

I came back home, thinking about things that happened today... It's like speeding through everything day by day. everything feels like a blur - whizzing through life and news.

Before mom went to bed, I kept her company... we laughed despite the pain I was suffering (I had a terrible accident at home earlier, bruising my leg. boo.). We talked about random stuffs, and we talked about personal stuffs as well... we moved to tears for a bit and at the end of it, she said something I doubt I will ever forget.

"If you want to see a person's true character, you don't need to go to the Holy City to see it, you just need to observe them during Ramadhan".

-------*
Note: Cousins - I'm totally sorry about this month's meetup. I definitely can't meet up with all of you Loves. But rest assured I'll make sure we all set ourselves to go for SENTOSA retreat ok ok ok? I'll tell you details during our Hari Raya Meet :]

The truth is vile, but vital to this cause.

[http://tinyurl.com/TREOSarmistice]

Your gross fabrication of pretense could bore,

Yet still I fall victim to syntax omitted,

Just shy of something I could understand

So blissful, I press on to the sound of the organs

Playing their most convincing tunes

As they serenade to the parade of paid-off parts

And now the only thing left to discuss is

The details of this armistice

We've come to this agreement...

Check my vitals

The truth is vile, but vital to this cause

I've been held hostage;

A captive of this passive shell

Give me gravity, give me clarity,

Give me something to rely on

We're all puppets (Tell me who's pulling the strings)

We're all marionettes

We're all puppets (Tell me who's that you move for)

We're all marionettes

These body parts are parts of plans,

Passed by my hands

My hands shake through handshakes,

Forsaken by my limbs

My limbs sing the hymns;

The hymns of a tyrant in a crumbling pantheon

As inhabitants will raise their fists and bid him to disarm

Check my vitals

The truth is vile, but vital to this cause

I've been held hostage;

A captive of this passive shell

Give me gravity, give me clarity,

Give me something to rely on

We're all puppets (Tell me who's pulling the strings)

We're all marionettes

We're all puppets (Tell me who's that you move for)

We're all marionettes

[x2]

And now the only thing left to discuss is

The details of this armistice

We've come to this agreement...

Oh, how I've been teething (Tell me who's pulling the strings)

In light of your misleading

You've caused this collapse (Tell me who's that you move for)

Between the heart and the synapse

[x2]

[Previous stanza continues in the background]

We're all puppets

We're all marionettes

We're all puppets

We're all marionettes

[x2]

[Whispered]

...The strings and joints will join us together...

The strings and joints will join us

The strings and joints will join us together...

The word 'I' is overused in this one.

I refuse to log into Facebook ever since. It's like as if time stops for me in there.

It affected my abilities to converse properly with friends, albeit when they start asking, with regards to what is still ambiguous to me until Aidilfitri.

I feel very lost over the idea that my life had been so busy and hectic making time for things I have not been doing for the few years back. Moreover, I was very happy over the idea that I'm able to get the chance to go out and explore the world. Particularly wherever I stay. I'm not regretful over the good things that has happened. And I'm definitely sure that the 2 posts back was merely something I was feeling at that point in time. Sometimes, life can be such an irony, it confuses me to bits. 

Nur Na'imah, my darling niece, has not fully recovered from her cough still. Suspected as bronchitis, she looked so horrible when she was hospitalised before Ramadhan. Babysitting gives you such bond with a child, though it might be different from a mother, but it's as motherly enough. Isn't she cute in a tudung? :]

Thankfully, she looks all fine and dandy the last time I saw her. And if I'm ever late for class, or rather meeting Azimah on the way to school, most likely the culprit would be her.

On Friday, Azimah and I went for Western Calligraphy Workshop during our NIE's Learning Festival. It's free and we get Calligraphy pens too. My fingers turned pink due to the ink and my usual sneaky hands. I couldn't do the normal calligraphy that well, but I did a search, and found a nice set of calligraphy lines that helps alot in my writing. I also looked for other calligraphy styles - and found Rotunda font-style more comfortable and suited for me. Look at it below :]

Saturday

Went for Janaki's wedding. 

I felt like I'm darn underdressed. 

Congratulations to you, my dear colleague.

You look darn fantastic, and I saw too many nice sarees.

(until Saira, Hidayah, Azimah, Roslindah and me got crazy over the idea we had to buy clothes to dress ourselves geared up for next year. Arab Street & Mustafa Centre - here we come!)

Sunday

I just refused to go out with my parents to Bukit Timah and Geylang.

We had a mini accident while we were disassembling Along's my old table. 

Scraped Dad's leg. It was bleeding profusely although it was supposed to be a superficial graze.

I had to kick myself in my own guts to see what in the world is wrong with me.

Hopefully Dad's okay by tomorrow.

-------*

Sorry for the unusual heaviness in the atmosphere. 

Like what Adik said, "a lot of things has been happening to" me.

And with regards to the calligraphy 

- sorry hw didi, I'm too lazy to upload and crop my pic with ur name in it...

See you on Thursday~! ^^x

:x

	3:23:14 AM		hady :(			asal mcm budak kecil
	3:23:15 AM		hady :(			lol
	3:23:37 AM		[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E			haha?
	3:23:39 AM		[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E			issit?
	3:25:28 AM		[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E			very cute kan?
	3:25:36 AM		[UntïT|eÐ ®][Sa|eHa] aka Sall-E			who wants that girl? apply plis.
	3:26:28 AM		hady :(			hahhaa
	3:26:30 AM		hady :(			lol
	3:26:34 AM		hady :(			form ada tak?
	3:26:37 AM		hady :(			application form

...am so into lace dresses.