Living A Life in Dire's Shoes*

I don't know, but the feelings of lost and freedom can coincide at the same time. It makes me feel like I'm totally dragging myself down.

Why do I insist I don't want to do something though I want it, but I'm already forced into a position that I couldn't, and when I know that I can do it at the end of the day, I still insist I shouldnt?

I don't get it. I miss so many things at one time.
I had a dream which was sweet, but I guess I'm feeling super lost, cos I cant achieve that dream in reality, not anytime soon.

My responsibilities are always getting the better way out of me. Even when I want to run away, the cost of doing so will exponentially be multiplied. As if that there is no proper way to run away. Even when I face it, I feel inadequate. What can I do about it? I don't know. Time and time again, I keep trying to make things work, but why does it feel like there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm confused, I'm feeling the massive amount of insecurity.

Maybe life needs to be written down on paper... I don't know. I'm so confused, really.