I'm questioning my own motives... // Do's & Don'ts when You're Going Out on a Date (no. 6.5)

Sometimes I wonder what will I gain from doing something...
Even when I understood my motives, I hate doing what my brain tells me to.

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Pardon me, I haven't been nice to people who come to know me recently.
No... Not to everyone, just to some few people.
Haha, I bet I'd hear some people calling me bitchy.

Don't get all angsty. I was just directing to people who tried to befriend me.

I give an example...

Person A: Hi
Me: Hi
A: What are you doing?
Me: Blogging...
A: Oh, okay. Don't want to disturb you then.

Me: Up to you~ =] *closes the window*

See the problem here? No? Okay, another example for your benefit...

Person B: Hi
Me: Hi
B: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing...
B: Have you eaten?
Me: Nope~
B: Why not? Diet ah?
Me: Nolah, where got diet. haha
B: Then go eat lah...
Me: Err... It's 3AM in the morning. -_-
B: *no reply*

Me: *ignores**forgets about the whole thing totally*

Notice the alarming position here? They killed the conversation straightaway.

Like hmm, don't they have like a better way to start a conversation? I'm very tired seeing the 'have you eaten' line for eons. Like, heck. You're not my mom to start with. But it's okay. I give credit. I still entertain people who asked me this way,

Person C: Hi
Me: Hi~
C: Have you eaten?
Me: Yeah...
C: What did you eat?
Me: Mama cooked (insert food eaten here). =]
C: Wow. Yummy!
Me: Of course! Mom's cooking always the best! =D
C: *no reply*

Me: *do whatever I was doing**totally forgot the whole conversation*

Sigh... *shakes head*

Pardon me. I'm lazy to ask "what did you eat?" to anyone, especially to strangers/potential friends. I think I hardly do it... as a starting topic, that is.

If I really have to (because I have nothing to say), I'd only ask this when I know them for a period of time, and when I know they appreciate food, for real. Even so, I'd probably would be enjoying the meal with them instead.

Well, if you're expecting me to ask them what did they eat? I do, you know... but in the end, they'll just stop the whole topic totally. Like hello~? Excuse me, people. Do you know how to expand the topic even? Like there is a way to get you to continue the conversation, don't you think? -_-

Maybe you're expecting me to continue the conversation, but naturally I hate to ask, "What about you?" 'cos mostly the conversations would end up like this...

*the same old you know what have you's introduction again*
Person D: Have you eaten?
Me: Yeah. What about you?
D: Yeah.
Me: I see.
D: So, not going out?
Me: Nope...

*silence*

Me: *continues* What about you?
D: Oh, I'm going out later.
Me: I see.

*silence again*

Me: Where to? (see? I started asking okay?)
D: (insert place here). What about you?
Me: Er... didn't I say I wasn't going out?
D: Oh haha, forgot. Sorry...
Me: It's ok =]

*silence again*

Me: *closes window*

Yes, closing the conversation window is a very habitual thing for me. Don't ask me why. I tend to get my fingers to do work and it's comes to me naturally. Probably it started because I hate to see the taskbar cluttered and I don't like to cluster my items together because I find it irritating to move my hand away from the keyboard.

I always tend to shift between browsers using the alt+tab keys and do everything else with the least amount of mouse usage. I tried to make a habit of not using the mouse because if I'm too used to the mouse and I forget to bring my lappie to school, I have to use the touchpad, and I hate using my lappie's touchpad at school. Very leceh (ie. troublesome), you know. Also, having sweaty-palms makes the touchpad even worse to use because they won't 'sensor' your touch.

Please, I beg you, don't expect me to start a topic, because I wouldn't unless I was the one bugging you. For these people, I'm sorry if I'm seriously offending you with this post but really... Can't you expand the topic and ask me questions to keep me conversing with you? Or issit that you ask everyone the same thing? I think, if that's the case, I'd be BORED to be the person you chat to everday, with the same starting conversation again and again.

Trust me I don't really like it that much that I'd be tagging this as another Do's and Don'ts when You're Going Out on a Date (no. 6.5) cos it's seriously a tiresome and boring affair if the date is like this.


I'm getting tired with people who started with all of these conversations (not just once but everytime) that I end up with this...


...and because of these kind of people (oh, I forgot to mention the guys who act cute in the example, but I better not 'cos I find it gross...), I think I made bro Kel think I was angry with him 'cos I wasn't conversing with my usual "=]" and "haha" smileys while we were playing pool online and I was lagging at the same time.

Henceforth, I call you people, Mood Spoilers... Seriously.
Pfft.

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I feel better ranting this up after keeping up with it for like weeks...

Just for a note, I did made turn the conversation around by starting a topic or probably more, in my own way with them, and I end up with them killing the conversation or giving me the same boring old kind of answers again.

But anyway, if anyone feels offended or pity these people or you think you are one of them and you soooo very need to take a stand and retaliate, do so by commenting it directly okay?

Good night! :3

The Do`s and Dont`s when you are going out on a date (Rule no. 5.1)

Jealousy - Just make sure you put yourself in ur partner's shoes and think it in their view. Its a very confusing, and delicate thing. yet, everyone will feel it one way or another, for certain. Dont u find that interesting? In my scientific brain, it does. But in my normal life, being jealous is something i dont like to feed myself with. or would anyone else, for that matter. ;p

A friend once told me, the guideline(ie. advice) is there, but to approach it is to know a persons character. (i think this is totally irrelevant from the first paragraph =x)

Oh yeah, dont forget... Not everyone is talented. You arent telepathic. Nor is he/she. Go figure. (this one too)

Note: Like i said, my advices arent foolproof. I just do this with my own propably biased opinion. I only live in this world for 19 years... and i have yet to learn decades of information, and mistakes.

Haha, well... i am human, and i bound to make mistakes and learn from them. Just be sure that you dont wholely swallow everything that might be an advice. there are always different approaches to solving a problem.

p/s: I think i made this entry on impulse. I havent slept the whole night, doing my report. My school break is seriously not a school break. and im envious that brother bought a basket full of chocolates for his future fiance. but i rearranged it! hehe.

the joy of being a sister.

The Do`s and Dont`s when you are going out on a date (Rule no. 5)

Arrgghh - ack... Sore throat =(

Oh well, anyway, its been a while since i last post a uselessful follow up for this topic. Hiak hiak~ Alaa, i dont really have an idea of what to write actually, but then again, you people can just throw me a topic n let me rant... Hee hee =D

Ok... So, its been a while since ive been peacefully having peace hearing someone pouring themselves out at me until yesterday, so... I think i can actually make do with the baseline of the whole problem into an advice! (pro hor? hor? you better bow to me! For i am teh Princess Sal! =x)

RULE NO. 5 - Do Not Play With The Other Party's Feelings!

I mean it lah! Don't lead them on, especially if they are the one who have feelings for you and you hell well are not feeling the same way too. Why?

Karma & Retribution lah! What goes around comes around. =D

Okay i give a better reason. People make mistakes, and people do things that tend to hurt other peoples feelings. But, i dont think its humane that you should be hurting a person unnecessarily when you already decided on what you intend to do or feel; instead, you keep that person hopeful and looking dumb all over you.

Let the chick stick around cos shes pretty but youre eyeing another bitch is not a good reason to fool around, man. Its bullshiet. Seriously. Try putting yourself in that persons shoes. Unless you dont mind being the dumb but hot looking ass lah~

You never know if they are seriously very ambitious with their feelings, if they are, youre gonna hurt them real bad if you try to keep up n keep them throwing logs into the burning fire.
Hell hath no fury like a Woman Scorned. (applies to both sides la)
Dont be so sure they will be forgiving if you ever fool them yah?

Eh, hope this rule is more obvious in the Topic itself. =]
Cheerios!

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I know i still got tons of things to write about! Haha.

The Do`s and Dont`s when you are going out on a date (Rule no. 4)

A friend once told me something and all i can decide upon to summarise it is as qouted:

If you are fond (like, love or crazy about him/her) of someone, and it doesnt matter how unreal things can become if you are to be in a relationship with that someone, just tell him/her how you feel. If that person cares and feels the same way, both of you will eventually work things out together.

Its mutual respect and understanding + a lot of communication when it comes to indulging relationships. Tell him/her how much you care. Be frank if you do miss that someone. and dont fool them.

The Do`s and Dont`s when you are going out on a date (Rule no. 3)

Rule no. 3 - Dont use the HANDPHONE/MP3 unneccessarily during a date.

Its a turnoff seriously. Unless youre can do 6 things at 1 time, i.e...
1. talk to the person/people ure meeting,
2. listen to the mp3 and hearing his/her/their conversation(s)
3. (+ understanding what the hell he/she/they is/are talking about)
4. reply to some friends u are sms-ing over the phone
5. smile and give eye contact
6. and not diss your friends/date.

If not, Learn Your Dating Etiquette. (even with your friends.)
Thank You.

Oh yeah, For the previous rule, if the girl is already leeching you, and youre still being so nice about it, Talk to her, for gods sakes. Ok, maybe this is easier than done, but lets try doing a scenario.
o. Ask her will only things bought for her the only way to make her love you? Then she only loves you for your money. (dangerous? okay... i give another subtle example)
o. Tell her, 'Baby, since you demand for something expensive, mind you buying me a (put something damn expensive here)?'
o. Or just let her leech you and both of you dont get married. Hmm... nice ending here *sacarsm detected*
Go figure.

The Do`s and Dont`s when you are going out on a date (Rule no. 2)

Rule no. 2 - Girls, especially if you are attached, dont freaking leech the guys.

Once in a while leeching off his wallet is fine. But not all the time.
Come on pretty ladies, i know you will dig for branded goods, pretty clothes, long vacation, and everything, but dont be so demanding. It kills you. Being materialistic with the guy you love, is not a good sign.

You might scare him. He might think of this two ideas:
1. You love him just because he got money around his belly 24/7...
2. As a result, he might lose you if hes broke and unemployed.
3. He get stressed, trying to figure out what other materialistic things that will make you smile for your next months anniversary. or maybe, you only say i love you to him when you receive something from him.

Ok, thats not 2 ideas. But seriously, to me, going out with him will be a blessing already. Seeing him smile would be a good gift for me. Well, yeah, maybe for birthdays and yearly anniversaries, buying something expensive would be nice, but of course, an eye for an eye. You cannot argue with your boyfriend because he didnt buy you anything for this month when he already bought you 1000 bucks worth of diamond studded necklace.

I wouldnt, Id rather leech off him after im married (to him), i mean, by then, we would be trying to put a certain amount in a shared account and spending stuff for our home, for our kids, for our holidays together. To me, that will be a nice thing and a nice responsibility together. Easy to say ya? We are just creatures of habits, we do need to be reminded.

So, we girls also need to be responsible on a date. Why dont we offer to pay for ourselves at least, and if you think your guy is too egoistic or insists on paying... then order the food for him instead, and give the change thats just for his meal. He might not notice it if its a big note or something, but do insist if you can. Or before you set out on a date tonight, say that the bills on you. Dont always pressurise him with the responsibility he already have by supporting you. Share it with him. =)

Yeah, when i was working in a restaurant, this sweet couple pushed the bill to me, and asked me to accept the money from their hands. The lady insists to pay for the meal, but the guy keep saying that he wont be gentleman if he doesnt do so. I was pretty confused on which hand i should receive the bill from, but, i ended up saying, Sir, if thats okay with you, you can pay for her next meal instead. Ladies first! (lame joke and i smiled.) He said to the lady, 'oh, okay, the next one is on me, that you need to promise.' Which she did. pretty sensible right?

So... if hes the Right Guy for you, heed this bcos, i dont think you wanna get married any later... You might be leeching off the money hes saving up for your marriage.

The Do`s and Dont`s when you are going out on a date (in my POV)

I recently spoke to a good friend of mine and we were talking about our current situations of having such a dry dry pocket without any good ol' mooooneeeeyyy...
- No money, cant go out.
- Got money, sure will spend on food and transport.
- Got money, sure want to buy new clothes and necessities.
- Got part time work but still not enough to save up.
- No guts to do any 4D or soccer betting *whoops*

Oookay, you get the gist. Money is the root of all evil (sometimes they taste heavenly though.) You get a smexy car, and all the girls(though they might only dig for your car) dig you. You wear all the latest stuffs and gadgets, and people will wanna talk to you thinking that you are hot latest news. Stuff like that. You wont really mind being THAT poor and ditching all this heavenly sins unless...
-You ARE SOOO ATTACHED. *gasps*
-You seriously wanna ask this hot chick out. and she agreed to accompany you!
(okay, you know im exaggerating but what the heck)

So we were like, hey, how the hell would people like us survive on dates, at least the decent ones...? Now, i shall bring forth my trusty handy dandy notebook on Dos and Donts when you are going out for a oooh la la date.

Rule No. 1 - The Guy Pays for the First Date. Compulsory.
Why?
Guys, if you never do this, either you are just very stupidly stingy or you just dropped ur waterface lah (meaning, you either got no pride nor ur ego is stupidly doing some hidden tiger crap). Come on, maybe its just a thing, but its courtesy that when you ask a girl out you should foot for the first bill. Who knows, she wasnt that 100% interested to come and might not even want to eat at that MacDonalds restaurant. Tempt her with free food, movie, ice cream and let her choose for most of the stuff but please do think twice when a girl ask you to eat at some super expensive high class restaurant that has one scoop of icecream costing around 15 bucks or something. This girl might just seriously using you as a automatic debit card.
(Im not sure about how you are gonna tempt the other girls but you can tempt me with that =x If only you managed to get my no. that is =P)

For the girls,
Dont act tough for the first date. Dont act macho ok? Cos guys will have this stuuuupid blooody ego that they wont let us touch it unless they are ghey or something. They need to remind their own brains that they need to show that they are a person that is dependable and stuff. So just be demure and sweet and all that for the 1st date and everything will turn out OK. If they dont wish to pay for you for the first date, throw some food in his face and call him cheap. you will just know that he aint doing enough for ya (except for weird & unexpected circumstances - eg. during the date he seriously lost his wallet or he got robbed along with your handbag or something).

To be continued...