This Could Be Anywhere In The World

I can't help but write this entry.
I doubt I'm fueled with anger, 'cos i don't really feel that way.
Nor do I think I'm feeling any remorse or sorry either.

I don't quite get it. Maybe I have already gotten it.
To a certain friend, or was-friend, this may hit you hard. Though i don't look at you as the latter, but nonetheless i am not quite sure where i stand in your world.


I was wondering for quite abit, while drinking coffee (like, finally! after months!) thinking about what happened and wonder whether the after-effect was worth it. At times, i wonder if i over-reacted towards what happened or i over-analysed it.

Honestly, if you may hate me for what i think, but i think my reaction towards what happened was fair.
And before you really screw me up with your let-me-hit-you-back-with-my-reasons-and-get-pawned-by-me replies, maybe my actions before to make you react that way was totally unforeseen by you.

I hate to write about friendships this way, and i hate to illustrate points out because this is between friends. two of us. you and me. as good friends. and i shouldn't even let people know about it.

So whatever happened is kept to myself. You have my word on it.

I don't believe friendships are shared by reactions or telling people about another certain friend about what they do or say. You don't like it, say it to the person in crime, not the another friend who'd probably just get your side of the story and laugh it off being by your side. I don't wish to earn my friends that way. I hear what people say, I smile at whatever nonsense a person say, I laugh at it and I'll listen. I'll comment and react if I find it honestly necessary.

You tried to conversate to me quite some time ago and honestly, I wasn't very sure about doing the same in return. Honestly, I never really thought of any outcomes or anything after the whole incident. I just it all the steam off somewhere off my head (and not to another person) and just totally ignore it. And now I'm getting back at it just to wonder if it's of any worth to make things any better or any worse.

At times, I'm practical. At other times, I'm practical after being emotional.


I usually agree on my own principal of not swallowing things too hard. I will do my best to just brush off the incident and just continue like it never had happened. But things had already happened and this is the after effect. Am i feeling any better or any worse over it? I'm not quite sure. After all, I'm still moving on with my life.

If it happens, it happens. I don't wish to make senseless or waste any effort on it. I would still think that it all equals out when you reacted that way and i retaliated that way. Maybe you won't look at it as that, maybe after you read this you'll get yourself into some hardcore fury, I wouldn't know. I just don't need any rifts in any friendships I have and recovered over time anymore.

If conversations are ever made, I'd have to say: I'd reply to you. I'll still laugh with you, and make jokes and be as to who I am. But to a certain degree: I won't share remarks or comments the same way, ever. Judging from what happened, it's not worth to go for another round of tongue-wagging, side-stabbing nonsense. Almost everything usually comes and goes.

I'm honestly tired of fighting over things like that.

I wouldn't know if any apology from my side is worth it, 'cos maybe what I was looking for was your understanding for my side. Both of us have our own ego and pride and I wouldn't want to bruise it either way. Whatever that is bruised up until now is more than enough. Honestly I have never anticipated anything from you. Up until today, both of us didn't explain our sides well enough over to what happened, but at least tonight, I did my part. This is what I have to say. And if you're reading this - I'm not asking for anything, nor am I asking you to go retaliate and scold me or comment about it. This is just my POV.

And if I may say, I might have understood yours. That's all.
Life will, honestly whether we like it or not, continue on. =]


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Listening to: Alexisonfire - This Could Be Anywhere In the World

This town has its claws buried in my neck,
This town - it takes life without mercy, without hate
(The streets are in distress, the sun suffocates behind darkened skies)
The grass is growing on top of my feet,
I'm sinking, it won't be to long until before I'm too deep to run
(The line up seems endless underneath the salvation signs)
We are the dead ones, we are the lost cause,
We are the bend before the break, our steps seal our fate

Because this city, this city is haunted by ghosts from broken homes
Because this city, this city is haunted, there's no hope, left for these souls

Every step I take I leave a small piece of myself behind
Soon there will be nothing left
(The cranks in the pavement, match the cracks in their weathered skin)
The sky's a brick wall, the ground's a juggernaut.
Each day they get a bit closer, between them, I am caught
(As I stare in amazement, I can't believe this is where I live)
Every breathe I take, I feel my lungs seal
This breeze feels more like shards of glass, I'm more scars than skin

Because this city, this city is haunted by ghosts from broken homes
Because this city, this city is haunted, there's no hope, left for these souls

Our steps seal fate
Our steps seal fate
This is our celebration, come join the lost souls
This is our celebration, come join the lost souls

(This city, this city is haunted)

Come, walk with us all
Come, walk with us..

Because this city, this city is haunted by ghosts from broken homes
Because this city, this city is haunted, there's no hope, left for these souls

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Time for a new blogskin! (if my lappy is not going to go any laggy)