Living A Life in Dire's Shoes*

coming to 2nd week of attachment... and i dont wish it to be any worse. the fear of wads going to come hurling towards me scares me. right now. back then.

i just want some company... just do get a false sense of security that everything will be ok.

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if someone cared. they wouldnt run away.
they wouldnt lie. they wouldnt disappear.
if someone missed. they would think about you.
they would worry about you. they wouldnt forget.
if someone loved. they are always by your side.
they would sacrifise. they wouldnt give up on you.

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its hard not to lie to myself
its hard not to deny
its hard to forget
its hard to pass by

its hard not to wish happy birthday
its hard not to make it a special day
its hard.

its hard not to buy a gift
its hard not to see it
its hard not to actually send it
its hard not to give it either

its hard just to smile
its hard just to accept
its hard just to throw all my plans for that day
its hard just to keep to myself

i wanted to make it such a memorable day
i promised myself that i would a yr back
its hard just to accept the facts that
its hard but i should just throw it away

for such cruelty.
the item is still here with me.
but i just couldnt do it.