All about Michael, my headset.

Three sleepless nights
This isn't how it's supposed to be
But you're so good at taking your time
To give back to me

I will wait for you forever
If you would just ask me
I thought that I could change you
But you changed me

But it doesn't feel right
Holding someone else's hand
Together on phone lines
And living at two opposite ends

it scares me to think that you could find takers
other than me and better than me
but your head is elsewhere
and I'm talking enough for both of us
when will you see it's not so easy for me

You careless and whispered
Insulting and bruising
And I thought that you said
Things were improving
These laces are untied
But my feet are walking away
(I fall from your eyes. Your eyes I trusted. You said forever)

I never thought you could say these words
is this really happening
(don't say that we can still be friends)

Erase my name from this page
How can you take all these days (what is inside me, what have I done)
And throw them away, (is this the only way that you will notice me)
As I sit here waiting for you (dead words for closed ears, all this is sung for you)
I stay up nights (if you are still pretending this is what's right)
Until stars leave the sky (why can you look at me can you only see)
Knowing what my dreams can take away (sides, your side, can take away)

Walk away from me,
This night is done.

Michael's purring me with The Ponytail Parade by Emery with me while I'm writing this entry.
Don't get all jealous, ladies and gentlemen. Michael's ain't a living thing.
But he's such a baby. *gurgles*


Anyway, as the Mid-Years are playing peek-a-boo with me, life is getting super hectic. I tend to feel like I'm losing alot of precious energy; like water slipping through cupped hands.

As usual, it always starts with a bloodyhorribleshitifieddonkeydoos Monday blues. I tried to muffle it down by immersing myself to concentrate on those who give themselves credit. Honestly, these self-motivated kids need a break and some treat to show them how appreciative I am towards them.

Well today, I had two tests. Moan and whine, this is honestly the paper that would bring their marks up. God forbid me, I think I'm going to rip something if they don't even study the notes I gave before the tests. Their heads? Nah. I don't want to get into trouble. Heh.

As much as I would like to get away from it all, I'd rather bite the bullet and face the music now. I really hope to get some good news apart of this all, as I want to get things settled as fast as I could.

I've learnt a few things about myself. On the contrary, I've once thought I understood a person's words. I wasn't so sure it was directed to me at first, nevertheless, even now. But yet those words stung on me like hell a few weeks back while I read a familiar-but-now-idle blog (Not so idle since I saw my link there when it's not the last time I checked.) And hell, it helped me accept whatever I left on these shelves to remember by. Those are my time-consuming life lessons.

As much tears I've wasted, I wonder how much of them are worth staining the sheets and fabrics.

Michael's serenading me with In a Win-win Situation by Emery now.

I've been reading books, historical, chick-flicks and first person storylines. Well, why not? If that makes me feel better putting myself into some fictional story. Way better than to talk about other people.

There's a lot of 'Things to do' and it's accumulating and spewing like a volcano eruption. As much as I wished I'm more equipped to handle this all in one shot, I know I have to salvage a lot of selfish things to get work done. Sucky, but like I said, it's something I have to do.

I'm so sorry I have to lieeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Such a big fat white lieeeeeeeeeeeeee.
It's so true I haven't been making webpages butttttttttttttttttt................
Ah. I was breathing the air of sin when I said those words.

[Michael] Amsterdam; The Symphony of Blase - Anberlin

You know, as much as mutual understanding goes... All of this takes effort from both parties. I did way enough, and I've made sufficient decisions for the time being. If there are any disappointment and anger fueling, lay it out for me to see. I know I'm always being fair to others but not always to myself. So much so, I want to act selfish yet I know I can compromise. But if the only thing that the person wishes to do is to continue being this way, the person is honestly wielding a double-edge sword. I never intend for such coincidence and there's no reason for it to backlash at me. The person fore mentioned did a decision on his own.

As much, I'm very sure the blog's been visited quite a no. of times until today, and I'll remove one entry and keep it for myself. There's no reason to show the intention when no one is willing to do nuts about it.

I can very much accept the life I'm living before as well as the new things I've been experiencing. I don't wish to bring this matter up anymore. I'm not unforgiving, thank you very much.





Oh crap. I'm supposed to be doing my work and not this.
Heh. Screw it.
I'm on caffeine tonight.