just random thoughts.

*i hate to be bothered by this
but i cant help it.
shall change my blogskin soon. probably start making one later tonight.

*i dont seem to understand why.
when im there. with my promises & my assurance
with my warmth and compassion, it doesnt ever sow out anything good.
but when im tired of it. too tired of the waits. n the lies.
and the excuses... then it starts creeping up on me again.
i just need a very very detailed good reason why.

*and so people hurt my feelings.
but thats ok. i always say, its ok. nevermind its ok. im fine, yeah.
it hurts. but its ok. am i relying too much on my own beliefs of retribution?

*and i still have so much to give.
so much to do. yet i cant do it.
i wonder if i should really heed my doctors advice on visiting someone.
cos. i really cant.

*where in the world is SAL the OPTIMISTIC girl?!
[slaps self n shakes self n pours cold water to self]
sheesh.

*i dont like it but...
i keep remembering of the past.
bits n bits of it starts to piece itself back in my mind.
and the feelings ... none of which is nice... starts haunting my heart.
stop it.

*i dont understand why,
the more it happens, the more i long for it.
maybe thats the point of putting me back to reality.
i long for that. that. THAT. *whoops sorry sounds very demanding*
but i dunno whether i should ask for it.

*i dont even noe why i shd rant this all.
propably just to make me sleep.