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You won't find me.
After all, you made the effort to never be alone.
You're so bright, you made a seed underneath all that earth feel your warmth.
And like the sun you shine for everyone. But as i take my peek - i couldn't see you well. Your presence was felt but you're so far away. So i can choose to decide to hide under a shade or to bask in that feeling.
But i basked. It felt so good.
I know i should hide in the shade cos i desire for you to find me, someday. But as the time passes, my discipline grew weaker. I kept looking for you.
I knew of another warmth that could feed my hunger. He has been there noticing me and my character. He has been there noticing me grow. He has always been there but I hardly knew him.
The moon gave me his shine and it's constant. I craved for it. I said this would be better. Since he can provide me shine, which none of the others would find it better than the sun.
All mine, i boast.
But at certain times, he thins himself out till he can't be seen. "Hello Moon? Can you hear me? I need your shine, please. I need to feel."
He was uncontactable. And he apologises when he could be seen, explaining the deal thathas set him to be how he is. Feeling so sad that he could see me suffer but he was unable to withstand the fight with the sun, and submits to the nightfall, and promising to hide once in a month 'to let the humans count the time', explained the sun.
I cant stand it.
I cant stand this.
But i hide in the shade everyday, hoping that good things will come my way. Moon comes and goes, and sometimes I feel like he's sharing the warmth to space. I'm envious. Why can't i be Space?
I dont think Sun knows, but I don't like to share with everyone else, unless i knew that my warmth is the greater share of all other than the rest. In that manner, in that manner, i can look at the sun and not worry about blindness.
By then, the blindness should be fine. Cos i will get that constant warmth, all the time. Even the moon can't stop me, although he hates losing his sole crave-r because the sun never fails to steal the sky.
But im in a dilemma. Moon's hiding, and Sun knows of my existence, and found it fascinating that i avoid something i crave. He would find it victorious, i think, if he ever gets me to fall for his trap.
So i grew, albeit slower than the rest. And saw the others mature and moved on faster than i did. The sun is tempting me, that, im sure. But after playing too much hide and seek, i plucked my petal and send my message when the cold winds come my way.
You won't find me, even when im gone. You have so much more that depends on your warmth. That love of yours is never exhaustive, that im sure. So theres always a replacement that seek out your rays. Especially from seeds of the flowers who mature faster than i do.
Youll forget me soon enough. Let me be with the moon, although he knows of my suffering. Although he knows of my desire, but i cannot bask in the kind of earth thats never for me.
P.s: And you know how much id desire to be around you. I'm sorry.
I cried myself to sleep, time and again, cos the sun keeps winning over the moon, and the moon couldnt occupy space to provide me the warmth as much as he could offer.
Time and again.
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